Others with "only me syndrome"

I was talking to some of the students at school today. We were talking about only me stories. I thought mine were good until I heard theirs. One boy said he hit himself in the head with a hammer and had to pull it out off his head. I didn't see scares so it must not have been too bad. He also said that his sister was sleep walking and was carrying his little sister around wondering where to put her. Another student said his father ran a nail through all of his fingers with an an electric nail gun. After talking to them I feel really lucky. They are my bouncers, friends, etc. The one boy gave me a solid milk chocolate Easter rabbit for being sick. He bought it special for me to make me feel better. I told him that I am not taking one bite of that rabbit unitl I loose five pounds. He thought maybe I didn't like Dove chocolate. I told him I love Dove chocolate so this will make me want to lose that weight. I don't know if I am going to last. I have warned Amy and Gary that they are not to touch that rabbit. One student tried to talk me out of it when I was taking it to my car. I told him that it was special and gave him a bag of microwave popcorn instead. I had better lose this weight by Easter.

Insurance

Right now I am coughing because I have a cold. This is my second cold this year and both have been horrible. I just found out that I could of have gotten paid by a cancer insurance that I have for my skin cancer. Dummy me didn't know that it worked that way. I just thought that they would pay what my insurance wouldn't and my insurance paid for all of it. It may have been a hefty sum. Now I'm not certain if I want to get my spots burned before they turn into cancer or wait until they turn into cancer so I can get back some of the stupid money that I have been paying this stupid insurance company for nine years. The fellow that signed me up said all kinds of false things. He didn't mention that I would have to wait 20 years, yes 20 years before I can leave that money to my family if I don't have cancer. What happens if they find a cure for cancer. I just hit my head into the basement door so was crying from that one. I have a spot on my chest that might be cancer. I just had it burned the other day. I should have let it go because the doctor said that it was precancerous. Maybe I can get some money for this spot. The last spot I had cut out was a barnicle and not cancer. A barnicle, who grows barnicles on them. I wonder if I am turning into something from Pirates of the Carribean. These insurance companies can really rip a person off. It was kind of funny because I was popping popcorn in the faculty lounge at work when this insurance salesman came up to me. I think that he wished that he hadn't. I gave him an earful. He did give me a stupid desk calculator though. I think he felt sorry for me. I told him that it was just my luck. Oh well.